What Color Would It Have Been?

Would she have been white?

Blonde, blue eyed, with full lips and fuller curves.

Would he have been the color of cocoa?

Dark, almond eyes with sharply curved muscles.

Would she have been the color of coffee with too much cream and sugar?

With ambiguous skin tones and a more ambiguous name

Would he have had his name too?

Or would I have won the battle to name him something preppy?

Would she have been on the taller or shorter side of average height?

We both pushed the limits of average.

Would he be a fast runner? An athlete? Have a lazy eye?

Would she love theatre? Be a leader? Need glasses to see five feet away?

Would he have asthma?

Would she have curly hair?

Would he have wanted to chase the horizon to follow in footsteps?

Or would she have conquered the horizon to control the sunset?

I’ll never know that.

I’ll never know if she would have shined in the spotlight

I’ll never know if he would have thrived in the moment

I will however, always, know the color of the blood that dripped

I will always know the dull ache inside me that pained me for days

I will always know that I probably would have been alone.

I’ll never know if this would have even mattered.

Or if it was all in my head.

But my head thought about it. 

My head wondered - what color would it have been?