I wrote the first part of this list after my freshman year of college. After spending three months crying and then an additional five months freaking DA FUCK out - I found these comforting and compelling rules to keep living by. Anything to keep me alive.
The second part was written EXACTLY three years later (even on the same day) after growing up, getting my heart smashed, getting a new job, and then another, graduating college, falling in love, making college friends, growing my acting career. After I learned something about how compelling life could be.
Part I:
1.Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you ‘You need to stop thinking so much,’ call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity and sheeple. Your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy. Question everything.
2. Stare into space blankly and don’t mentally punish yourself for doing it, even if it is for that split second. If you have a problem with staring blankly, think of it as daydreaming.
3. Root Beer sucks after having spicy food.
4. Everything is going to be just fine. If you worry about acne, you’re going to get a fucking pimple.
5. Don’t be afraid to talk about anything. You shouldn’t be afraid of reality.
6. Everyone is a hypocrite.
7. You are all original. Every life experience is case sensitive and unique. Every time you wake up or go to the bathroom or quote someone else, you are becoming more you than anyone has ever been.
8. Do pointless things. Don’t actively restrain or hide yourself from the redundant.
9. Stop rushing. Shut up and embrace the sound of silence.
10. Religion shouldn’t be taught, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe except you. And while were on the subject…
11. Don’t be restrained by one religion. People change every moment of everyday. Minds grow and evolve. Religion has no law so feel free to mix and match. Make your own.
12. Going to the bathroom is not a right nor a privilege. it’s an act of nature.
13. Talking to yourself is healthy. Is there anyone that you have more in common with?
14. There is no such thing as time. The sun never sets or rises. Days and years don’t exist. There is only your life. Earlier today you were born and death is predicted later in the evening.
15. We will always be in a transitional phase. Look outside and know that everything will be replaced at some point. This existence is temporary.
16. Its not half empty or half full. Its half a glass.
17. Every now and then take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. Renew its existence.
18. Be happy, but don’t force it.
19. You will always succeed in trying.
20. We are all crazy. Every person you read about in the history books had some kind of ‘disorder’, they just knew how to use it.
21. We are all about as similar as we are different.
22. Ideas are just as valuable as people. Why do you think we keep making people?
87. Numbers don’t have to go in order. 24. Words will always be just words. Love is just another four letter word, only the feeling is real.
25. Ask a child for advice. They may not know much, but they know what is important.
26. Prove you’re alive. Do anything from dancing in the supermarket to screaming ‘Fuck’ during a moment of silence. Remind the world you are still here.
27. Don’t take anything, even this, too seriously.
Part II:
1.) Never turn anything down. Ever. Smoke weed, draw a tattoo on your leg and don’t wash it off, try a new drink, kiss a boy that you wouldn’t normally kiss, take a class you don’t need, play a role you hate in a show you don’t like, go to a party even when you’re tired, drive your friend’s car, go to an amateur standup comedy night, watch a movie you’ve never heard of, just….let life happen.
2.) Grades aren’t everything. I know that’s cliché. But they aren’t. They are arbitrary numbers. As long as they are enough to get you where you need to go and you actually LEARNED something and not recapitulated nonsense. You can get a C. You’ll graduate. You’ll get a job. You’ll find love. You will survive – even if biology isn’t your thing.
3.) Know how to handle your own anger. If you need to be alone in your room and punch the bed post – don’t go out with your friends and take it out on someone who doesn’t deserve it. If you fight with your words – don’t answer a text with words you don’t mean. Anger is a scary. Anger ruins friendships and relationships. Anger hurts and burns.
4.) When love leaves – sit there and enjoy the silence for a while. Remember who you were before you were a “we” and were still an “I”
5.) You’re allowed to do something shitty once in a while. If you forget to return a bracelet to a friend for a few days, or don’t feel like carrying a tray all the way back to the counter and leave it on top of a trashcan, or are short on money and only tip a waiter 10%, or eat the last bite of your boyfriend’s mac&cheese. It’s okay. I promise.
6.) Curse. Often. Remind people that you’re still alive.
7.) Do a random act of kindness. A small one. It’s really uplifting. Leave a note in someone’s notebook when they go to the bathroom so that in a few weeks when they get to that page they’re happily surprised– donate your loose change to a bake sale, go out of your way to put the shopping cart for the mom wrestling with two toddlers, give a five year old running a lemonade stand $5 for a fifty cent cup of lemonade, buy the oldest woman in your office a box of girl scout cookies. Little things make everything.
8.) Never underestimate how nice a well-timed text can be.
9.) Hand write notes. They’re special. Different. Funny. And it’s exciting to get mail that’s not bills.
10.) Say the weird shit that comes flitting through your mind.
11.) Don’t try to figure out magic tricks. It’s more fun to be vaguely impressed than to have a concrete and logical reasoning for something you know is nonsense.
12.) Don’t stop trying. If one person says no – keep asking. Most successful people didn’t follow someone else’s jobs and careers – they created their own. Create your life – don’t step in to someone else’s.
13.) It’s okay to cry about it. Mourn your losses. Wallow in your sadness. Embrace it. Eat junk food for 3 days and don’t put on pants. Stupid things. Important things. Grieve for yourself because often no one else will.
14.) Eat interesting food. Eat a chocolate covered cricket, squid legs, mountain oysters, bacon soda, or peanut butter on a hamburger. This is how the cronut came to be. Who knows? You could love it.
15.) Love hard. As hard as you can. Let yourself care completely about another human. It sucks when it’s over but it’s one hell of a ride. If you're not done being in love yet - see what you can do about it. Nothing is permenant.
16.) Tell people things you like about them. Tell a stranger that she has great hair or that you think his backpack is cool. Random compliments make people’s day. Hardly ever is someone freaked out by a “Hey, I really like your phone case!”
17.) Always have a bathing suit. You never know. Keep one in your car, your dorm, your purse, whatever. Be ready for an adventure.
18.) Please. Ask for help when you know you need it. It sucks and it’s terrifying but no one will know you’re drowning if you’re not in the water.
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