Thursday, September 27, 2012

Girl on Fire


Over the summer I decided that the Hunger Games musical was a GREAT idea. So i wrote about 7 songs to go in said show. So this is the only song I've actually typed up. It would be the final song of Act 1 - right before Katniss learns that she can still be on a team with Peeta. Only problem is - I can't write music - so if anyone wants to collaborate - I'm in.

 


I crawled and starved through this neck of the woods
While they robbed us of our childhoods
And had my faith shaken where I stood
I fought within an inch of my life and
Held another’s life in my own hand

In my imagination
I could not’ve created such a hell
Threatened by capitol mutations
But this is what I’ve got to tell
                Chorus:
You stripped us of damn near everything
Took our humanity – stole our given names
Gave us a stupid number and put the rest up in flames
I’m not going down without a hell of a fight
The girl of fire burns on tonight

I saved Prim’s life but not that of Rue
I can’t save everyone – that much is true
The odds are not in my favor – that part I knew
But I’ve got to get back to district twelve
And save what little bit is left of myself

In my imagination
I could not’ve created this world
Of their sick and twisted creation
Watching this murder and mayhem unfurl
Chorus:
You stripped us of damn near everything
Took our humanity – stole our given names
Gave us a stupid number and put the rest up in flames
I’m not going down without a hell of a fight
The girl of fire burns on tonight

In these games the end justifies the means
But with the strength of a thousand TV screens
I’ll light up Panem and leave my mark
I don’t need Cinna’s dress to create a spark
I’m being forced into all the deadly sins
I’m not going to just survive – I’m going to win
Chorus:
You stripped us of damn near everything
Took our humanity – stole our given names
Gave us a stupid number and put the rest up in flames
I’m not going down without a hell of a fight
The girl of fire burns on tonight

In my imagination
I could not have felt this fire
I will not be ruled by Snow’s dictation
The revolution is what I will inspire
I’m not going down without a hell of  a fight
The girl on fire
The girl on fire
This girl on fire burns on tonight.

All That Jazz (Part III)


I walked into my house, the smell of meatballs hitting me like a wall. I sighed deeply and dropped my backpack at the bottom of the stairs. I kicked my shoes into the closet – trying to buy myself a few more moments of solitude before Natalie came in and demanded to know where I’d been.
“I think I heard the door. Is that Quinn?” I heard my mother’s voice from the kitchen.
“Yeah. Hey mom. Is Natalie in there?” I replied warily, dreading seeing my sister.
“Yes. Natalie is in here.” I heard my sister’s voice snap at me. I sighed again walking down into the kitchen. Natalie was standing at the stove wearing a veil with fifteen types of meatballs on platters on the kitchen table. My mother was trying to coax the veil off my sister’s head without her noticing.
“Where have you been Quinn? I need your shoe size and hair ideas and nail ideas.” Natalie snapped at me.
“I had auditions, darling sister of mine. They went really well, thank you for asking.” I said sarcastically, popping a meatball into my mouth.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Natalie said turning on me, sharply.
“Eating a meatball.” I said with my mouth full. Her eyes turned steely and squinty at me.
“Those are for taste testing.” She said through gritted teeth.
“Natalie. There’s a dozen meatballs.” My mother said.
                My sister was now just three months away from her wedding. A year and a half ago her college boyfriend, Kyle Jymzyski, had proposed to her right after graduation. She had spent the last four months coming to and from our house from their apartment with bridesmaid dress samples, measurements, recipes, catering samples, DJ recommendations and quite frankly annoying the shit out of me. My mother is 100% Italian. So she and my Aunt Celeste have been completely enabling my sister’s bridezilla attitude because they just dote all over her.
                So here I was in a midst of meatballs and tulle in some sort matrimonial hell getting yelled at for eating a meatball. I held my hands up in mock surrender.
                “Yes ugly step sister.” I said in a snotty exaggerated tone. Her eyes turned black for a moment. Then I heard the ringtone from her cell phone that signified Kyle calling. It was the Captain and Tenille song: Love Will Keep Us Together. Gag me.
                “Hi baby.” Her voice cooed. “We’re just making meatballs. We’re testing recipes for the rehearsal dinner. What? Oh I miss you too snuggle bunny.”  Oh my god. I was going to throw up right there and then.
                “Okay. Well this was fun but I have to go to work.” I said, working quickly to escape while my sister was on the phone. Her bridezilla radar went off.
“Hold on a second schnookums.” She said sweetly before turning on me. “If you leave before I get a chance to measure your feet I will absolutely murder you.” Her voice came out in a subtle little hiss. I rolled my eyes back in my head giving out an exasperated sigh. I then proceeded to stretch my foot up to her face. She swatted my foot causing me to lose my balance and trip. I jumped up to sit on the counter.
“Why doesn’t Aaron have to do any of this?” I whined to my mother. Aaron is my older brother and Natalie’s paternal twin brother who lived about a half an hour away with his girlfriend and worked as the mayor’s personal assistant.
“Because boys are easy to dress. And with his sarcasm, he’s not really suitable to be around your sister.” My mom said, twisting up her big Italian curls and clipping them off her neck. I pouted.
 “Okay baby cakes. I’ll see you tonight. I love you too. No, I love you more. No really baby, I love you more. Okay. Okay. No. Awe. I’ll miss you too. Bye.” She cooed.    She clicked off her phone and put it down with a wistful sigh.
“No, I love you more, pancake bottom.” I said with my voice in a high mocking falsetto, “Jesus Christ Natalie. Are you twenty four or twelve?”
“If you were truly in love, you’d understand.” She snapped, straightening her veil and grabbing a foot measure thing like they use at the shoe store out of her purse.
“Why do you have that in your purse?” I asked in complete disbelief that she had just Mary Poppins-ed that out of her bag.
“Don’t worry about it.” She snarled shoving my foot onto the cold metal. A few minutes later after a debate of whether I could go barefoot at the wedding which ended in my sister crying, I extracted myself to go to work.

The Ana Sisters


The Ana Sisters



A personal sorority 

Full of manicured hearts

Scooping or purging out those feelings

The Ana Sisters

 A bond of blood sweat and tears

The blood you rush out

The sweat you work out

And the tears you cry at that number

Not low enough. Never low enough.

The Ana Sisters

The worse commonality

With the best long term goals

The kind that keep you up at night

But cripple your daytime hours

The Ana Sisters

A group that wishes to be your sisters

To be part of something big

But to be a great lot of nothing



The Ana sisters twist

They twist the mirrors

They twist your stomach

And your reality and vision.

With perfectly slim hands


The Ana sisters scoop

They claw out the bad

And scoop out the flaws

All with perfectly polished nails



 The Ana sisters lie

They tell you how to feel

How not to feel

How to survive

With perfectly rouged lips.



The Ana sisters sing

They dance and read and clean

And run and lift and jump

They keep your mind busy

With perfectly warped minds



 The Ana Sisters worry

They make others worry about you

While you worry about numbers

With perfectly accurate timing



The Ana Sisters negotiate

Higher if this

Lower if that

But never ever that. This isn’t safe.

Unless you want to fail.


The Ana Sisters confuse.

I want this.

I shouldn’t have this.

Talk. Don’t talk. Don’t explain.

Lie.
Lie.

Shh. It’s alright.

The Ana Sisters became me.

That bittersweet sorority.  

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Adam


This is a poem I wrote about my brother during his sophomore year of college. It's written in the style of e.e. cummings.






m ss you (brother)

bro    ken  home
[empty] room                                                   forgotten                                            space

Not a happy fam ly of four
Anymore

Stat on wagon
stays.
 n the dr veway
Your door stays [shut]
She doesn’t come over.

hardly at all.
No more dece t.
But less laughter

The parts of you

That make up [I] are

M ss ng

All That Jazz (Part II)


“Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Shit Godammit.” I said shaking out my legs and flexing my shoulders. My sheet music fluttered up and down with my erratic motions.
“Really lady-like Quinn.” Parker said shaking his blonde hair out of his eyes. I shot him a look. I was forever shooting Parker looks.
Parker waited in the wings with me as his audition was a few after mine. He never got nervous. He never did anything. He just leaned against the wall with a dopey grin. Parker is the kind of person that I hate. He chills and relaxes before auditions, only practicing his starting note and nothing else. He’d walk on stage in front of the directors with the urgency of being in the milk aisle at the grocery store. He’d belt out these incredible notes with passion and character and then mosey on off the stage.
I, however, swore like a sailor. I shook out my arms and legs to get the jitters off. But mostly I swore. I would just keep repeating the most vulgar words to get out my anxiety. Sometimes I punched Parker. That just made him laugh harder.
Don’t get me wrong. Parker has been my best friend for three years since we both had a call back for Cats and sang “Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer” together. We did fun stuff together like karaoke competitions, have bad movie marathons, and bake cakes at two in the morning. We also did boring stuff like go school shopping and painting the bathroom. We were completely inseparable. We once went a month and a half without spending a day apart. There is no one on this planet who knows me better than Parker Flynn and vice versa.
I could hear Kristi Barnson singing some pop song poorly on stage. I listened to her little freshman voice glide over sharp notes and not quite hit them and the pitch was completely wrong.
“Is she seriously singing Lady Gaga to audition for High School Musical?” I whispered to Parker. “I feel like I’m caught in a bad…rendition of this song. Holy shit. She sucks” He whisper/sang back to me. We tended to be a little petty during auditions. Kristi was cute and lovely and a great dancer. She’d probably get featured in every musical number but that girl could not carry a tune if it had a handle. She came walking off the stage her face in the same half smile it was always frozen in. She gave me a quick wave and a smile.
“Quinn Roberts?” I heard a flighty soft voice echo out in the auditorium.
“Fuck.” I said one more time, punching Parker in the arm and walking confidently on to the stage.           
Ms. Chamile looked up from behind her hipster-Tina Fey- style glasses. This was Ms. Chamile’s second musical. Our director for the past forty years had finally retired and Ms. Chamile who was only thirty took over. This was the second musical she directed. Last year she’d shined brightly directing Bye Bye Birdie. I had played Kim MacAfee. Even though the first show had really proved Ms. Chamile’s talent she was still the “Jennifer Lopez” kind of judge. Everyone made the musical. We had the space and the talent. The real competition was getting the lead.
“Hello Quinn. What are you going to be singing for us?” she asked looking over my audition sheet.
“’Spark of Creation’ from Children of Eden” I said trying to keep my voice steady. I handed my sheet music to the pianist. The piano player started. I heard the first few notes. I missed the entrance. Shit. Shitishitshitshit.
“I’m sorry. Can you start over?” I said to the pianist. He gave me a curt nod. I listened again, took a deep breath and,
 “Beyond/Beeeee-yond/Beeeee-yooooo-nd” I sang loudly, belting my strongest notes and trying to add power. I finished my thirty-two bars with a flourish.
“Thank you. The list will be posted tomorrow morning” Ms. Chamile said without raising her pen.
“Thank you.” I said calming my nerves and walking backstage to where Parker was chewing bubble gum and texting. Then came the swearing. Whenever I was nervous my swearing just poured out of me like sweat.
“Shit. Fuck. Bitch.” I said squeezing Parker’s arm with all my might.
“Okay. Hey. Calm down.” He said, brushing his hand over my hair. My hair. Oh my god. I should have put it up. My dad is German and my mom is 100% Italian. So I have this really blonde Arian hair with big Italian curls that always frizz up when the humidity kicks up and it was pretty humid in the auditorium and oh my gosh they aren’t going to cast me because of my friz-
“Hey. Quinn.” Parker interrupted my shift in to panic mode with a wave in front of my face.
“Huh. Yeah? What?” I said shaking out my panic inner monologue.
“Madeline’s going next.” He whispered as this tall brunette beauty walked by me in high heels clicking along the hardwood floor of the stage. Madeline Carter. She was a lot of things but ugly was not one of them. She was one of those eternally cute girls. You know what kind of girl I mean too: the kind of girls that show up in sweatpants and a ponytail and looks like she walked out of an ad for a slumber party. She had the naturally tan skin and the long shiny brown hair and brown eyes and stood at 5’6 with a thin frame but still managed to have a great ass.
I. Hate. Madeline. Carter.
“Hey Quinn” She tossed pleasantly over her shoulder. She was dressed head to toe in pink and still looking like a Barbie but in a cool way.
“Oh hey Maddie” I said with the same smile in my voice. She flounced on to the stage handing her sheet music down to the piano player. The words were muffled but I heard the song loudly and clearly.
“On my own/ Pretending he’s beside me/All alone/ I walk with him ‘til morning”. Her clear sharp mezzo sang out across the theatre.
“Could she be more predictable and generic?” I whispered to Parker.
“She probably only knows that song because it was on Glee.” He whispered back. I smirked. She was good though. Damn good. The piano chords struck the last note. She thanked them and walked past us again.
“Ta” she said waving a hand regally over her right shoulder. I gave her a sarcastic nod while her back was turned. I furrowed my brow at her.
“Elliot Valley.” Ms. Chamile yelled out. Elliot got up – popping his collar and dancing his way on stage. Elliot was an asshole. He was a decent singer with an average baritone range. His tone was not memorable and he was too short to ever be taken seriously as a male lead. He could not remember lines to save his life but he seriously thought he was God’s gift to musical theatre and was always throwing diva fits over every little injustice.
“I was supposed to be next.” Parker snarled under his breath as the opening chords to a Frank Sinatra song played on the piano.
“Oh my god. Cole can’t even pull off this song. Elliot seriously thinks he can. He probably is 100% sure he’ll get Troy too.” I said with a tone of disgust. Parker snorted laughter out. We heard the soft ‘Thank you’ as Elliot came strolling backstage looking like he had just achieved Nirvana.
“Parker Flynn.” He smiled, gave me a quick kiss, and disappeared through the curtains on to the stage. I knew my best friend better than anyone. For every audition he would stand on stage calmly with no sheet music belting out “I’m Alive” from Next to Normal with his hands held loosely behind his back. He was easy to predict. Sure enough, a few seconds later I heard the piano chords to ‘I’m Alive’.
I leaned back against the wall breathing deeply. I shook out the anxious tension in my limbs and slid to the floor. A few minutes later he walked back to me. I looked at him with expectant eyes.
“Nailed it.” He said. He popped a new piece of gum in his mouth and offered his hand down to me to pull me up. I shook my head. His confidence is his ability was astounding. He was good, don’t get me wrong. He wasn’t the best though. Cole was the best. Cole was phenomenal.
“Come on. Let’s go” Parker said offering his hand for me to hold. I laced my fingers with his while we walked outside to the car. Let the post audition panic begin.